On Spare Ribs

...you're knuckle deep in that arn't you...

On Surfing

...too bad i can't just hop on it...///well you can you just have to do it slow...

On Energy Drinks

...the main objective is getting the liquid in peoples mouths

Overheard: Facebook Status

...like grandma always said "if you only bang midgets, everyone will think you have a big wang"

On Obama Speeches

...Pres. Obama: "I want everybody to remember that this has never been easy."

Overheard: Map Quest

...Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

On Helping Out

...there, I lightened your load for you.

On The Garden Glove

...sometimes i get a little too excited and don't wear the glove....

On Board Meetings

...ew. that was awkward and didn't feel right. seriously.

On Basket Full o' Jam

...here squeeeze it in there...somewhere...

On The Peeling Sunburn

...god it finally came, it's like a frickin time bomb.

On Pack n' Ship

...It's going to be hard to find a box that'll fit all of that.

Overheard: State St.

...okay so you wake up in the middle of the night and someone is standing in your doorway. would you rather it be Ronald McDonald or Michael Jackson?

On Ski Lifts

...i'll get right on that... and when you get off, don't forget to tuck in your pole.

On Churros!

...I want to eat another one, but I don't know if I can fit it in.

On Beer Goggles

...every time I was looking at her tonight I thought she was smiling but it turns out its just the way her face is set up.

On UK Talk

...oh you're in mate, you're in.

On Waterballoons

...as soon as i touched it it exploded...

Overheard: Trust in Obama

...i wouldn't trust obama any farther than i could spit a mouthful of fishhooks

On AC Vents

...Can you point that thing somewhere else? It's blasting me in the face.

On Beer Bongs

...are you ready to blow?

On Chip Fights-- Part 2

...you can not put that in my mouth, but you can put it down my shirt.

On Chip Fights-- Part 1

...yeah I was shooting into her shirt that's why she bent over.

On 'To Shotgun a Beer'

...it's a smaller hole. It's bc we're women. It just comes faster that way.

Welcome to D-Land

...I wanna go to D-Land. I love that place, the happiest place on earth.

On Sim Cards

...I put it in there like a week ago in the dark and I put it in wrong. You'll get it out don't worry.